The development and improvement of the family placement system for orphans and children deprived of parental care is one of the priority areas of Ukraine’s social policy, as every year several thousand children are left without parental care.
Even before the war, the number of orphans and children deprived of parental care in Ukraine was increasing annually, reaching around one hundred thousand, of whom nearly 80% had living parents. Since the beginning of the full-scale invasion, the situation has worsened each year due to the death of parents and the growing number of orphans.
The process of placing an orphan or a child deprived of parental care into a family-based form in Ukraine involves the support of individuals or couples — who express their willingness to take a child into one of the family forms of care (adoption, guardianship/custody, foster family, family-type children's home) — by social services before, during, and after the placement. During interviews with social workers and specialists from child and family services, a documentary assessment is conducted to verify the applicants’ capability to become parents. They then complete a preparatory course for parenting an orphaned child and receive recommendations regarding the appropriate age and gender of a child suitable for their family.
This process reveals how the family was formed, its traditions, and its experience in overcoming difficulties. It becomes clear that foster parents are already accustomed to interviews and evaluations by various services. These are parents who have done significant inner work and developed their "parenting skills". Ultimately, they are people who have processed and accepted painful stages in their own lives and in the lives of the children they welcome.
A child who, at birth or shortly after, experiences separation from biological parents is already psychologically traumatized, and that wound remains for life. When abuse, neglect, changes in living environment, and severed connections are added to that, the child’s ability to trust adults is severely disrupted, and forming new trusting relationship becomes very difficult. To overcome the consequences of such suffering, parents need great patience, resilience, and mutual empathy.
A аdopted, upon entering a new family, experiences new emotions, gains new opportunities, and faces the challenge of adapting to new models of family interaction, which can understandably cause disorientation. First and foremost, the child has lost their previous sense of life — even if it was brief, it was deeply familiar. Now, the child is immersed in an entirely new and unfamiliar world — far from the smells, food, and climate of their homeland, far from its landscapes and language. In some cases, even their name changes. These are significant losses that require thoughtful and ongoing support.
Foster parents must get used to continuous discussions and take responsibility for the suffering of аdopted. Despite the challenges of such relationship, foster families go through developmental crises and are not immune to family conflicts and misunderstandings, which can lead to foster parents’ divorce, family disputes, and generational conflict between parents and children. For this reason, family mediation with foster families must consider the unique characteristics of each family and each аdopted. A mediator who is well-informed about all aspects of foster care can help parents feel understood and supported.
At the Family Center “Dotyk”, certified specialists work with children involved in family mediation procedures and support foster families!
Foster parents going through a divorce bring all the specific aspects of their situation to the mediator so that the mediator can work effectively with the family. The couple can receive competent support in all difficult situations.
When it comes to аdopted, their stories cannot be ignored. The mediator must clearly understand who аdopted are and what it means to be abandoned by biological parents and accepted by foster ones. The mediator must be well-acquainted with every detail before mediation begins. Each child is unique and irreplaceable, and it must always be remembered that a аdopted — especially one who has experienced numerous psychological traumas, losses, and abandonment — is always a bearer of deep suffering. These aspects are extremely important and must be transparent to the mediator, as the child will once again face a new loss through the divorce of their parents.